It has been a while since I've written a post on this blog. A while for me anyways. It was a very rough end to the semester. I was studying every extra minute I had for my 8 credit hour math course that I wasn't sure I was going to pass. The thought of failing a class just mortified me, especially with how hard I work just to enroll at the beginning of every semester. Wondering about money for books, travel schedules between Kyle and I, it's a stress, but it's all worth it.
I think we can start to see the light at the end of a long looong tunnel...
The time came for final exams, I had A's in all my classes except for this class that should have a warning label attached to it before you confirm registration: WARNING: Could cause immense stress and can imitate the feelings of being in Hell.
Yeah, this is about how I felt last semester.
Everyone told me I was crazy to take that class, but I wanted to be done with it once and for all. Utah has different requirements than Texas does, and those requirements require taking a lot more math than wanted. I just wanted to be done with it.
I took that exam, and it was difficult. VERY difficult. I knew I didn't pass and was preparing myself to take it this summer and working hard to keep my head and emotions held high. I checked my grade later that night, and lo and behold, I passed. I literally got down on my knees and thanked God because I knew that it was a miracle. My teacher had dropped my lowest quiz grade which allowed me to pass the class. I considered this a blessing from God.
On top of that blessing, Kyle had gotten good grades as well as a new better paying job with UVU. This job will also bring half tuition IN STATE which amounts to around 2000 for a whole semester. Great blessings were being brought upon us.
It is so easy to forget the many blessing we receive in life. I noticed a change in my life once the abundance of blessings were given. I slacked off. I shirked my duties that I was constantly on top of during the semester. Such as Visiting Teaching, staying for all 3 hours for church etc. I noticed a change in me. In my attitude. I started feeling depressed, worried about other's gossip that I was hearing about me (which didn't bother me at all until I started slacking off). Why was I feeling this way? What was missing?
Christ. Christ was missing. Although He is always with me in my endeavours, I was missing Him and ignoring promptings from the Holy Ghost. I went to church and felt so much better. It was like having a headache and the ibuprofen working immediately. I felt empowered, and I felt right.
Why did I slack off when I clearly received blessings for my diligence?
Good question. The only honest answer is because I got lazy. Which is normal to do. But because I am endowed, I feel that I am held to a higher standard. Being spiritually fed is just as essential as being fed physically.
It is going to be a busy summer with summer school, Kyle working a ton, but it also going to be fun and used to the fullest.
We are human. That's the problem. We make mistakes but we are also all born with the Light of Christ inside of us. That is our own guide of right and wrong, eventually leading to peace.
