I look at life like it's a book. A book that we write, bind and publish. At first it's just us as individuals, then at some point we add co-authors, some stay until the end of the book, some just for a few chapters, but it shapes the story.
I feel like I'm finally starting a new chapter in my life story. The chapter of children. The chapter of moving forward into the next phase of my life, of mine and Kyle's life. I'm thrilled and scared all at the same time.
The 4 years of trying with no success was incredibly difficult. I don't wish that trial on anyone, even my worst enemy. But unfortunately, it's a sad reality many women face each and every day. I will never forget how they feel and what they go through, because I know what it felt like. But I will say, those chapters of infertility shaped who I am today. I had a hard time understanding, "Why me?". I see failed marriages that drag children in their crosshairs, unwanted children and pregnancies and so on. So, "Why Me?" or why so many other wonderful couples in the world that would make amazing parents? That I don't know. I can't speak for anyone else but myself. It changed me, at times it felt like for the worst, but now that I am in a position to look back on it, it changed me for the better.
I will tell you, I have never experienced anything quite like seeing my child for the very first time (via sonogram). It was surreal. It was an out of body experience. I fought back tears as I was laying on the table, seeing what Kyle and I created. It was amazing, and you could say I was glowing the rest of the week after that appointment. I was on such a high, that I wanted to announce it to the world that day, and so we did. I couldn't contain myself anymore. It was a great day.
I'm looking forward to this new chapter in our life. But I don't regret the 7 years that Kyle and I have spent together, just the two of us. It allowed us to grow an unshakable bond that we will now take into parenthood. I'm excited to embark on that journey with him and see how we will be together as parents. It's a whole new territory for us. It will test us, push us to our limits, but also we will share a joy that cannot be replicated. We've already been through alot in our marriage, trials that don't come this early on in a marriage, and it has strengthened us.
I can't thank God enough for this wonderful miracle in our lives. We are so excited. I look forward to penning this new chapter in my life story.
~Katie B.
