Hello everyone. I hope you all have had a great summer, and try enjoy what little is left of it. I can't believe it is August already. July went by really quickly. I guess that tends to happen in the summer time. The season for taking trips, swimming pools, beaches, going on vacation, having late nights, etc. It's been a fun summer for Kyle and I. We kicked it off going to Kansas City for a 3 day Memorial Day weekend. We had a great time seeing most of Kyle's family, and seeing a best friend of mine and her husband. It was great. It was a nice breather from normal life.
There's so much going on right now, I can barely keep my head straight. Lots of future plans halted and altered.
As you know (my facebook friends and family), my Father In law had a pretty severe stroke, that has left his right side useless. We were hoping and praying that he will be able to regain some mobility through physical, occupational, and strength therapy. Right now, they are working with him to strengthen his left side, and teach him how to use and operate all on that side to the best of his ability. But the nurse I spoke with said that he probably will be wheelchair ridden for the rest of his life. That news was like a slap in the face. It hurt. It physically hurt. It was not what I was expecting right then. I was expecting a "wait and see" kind of answer, but that's not what I got.
This has been so hard. He had a stroke back in December, (his first to our knowledge) and the doctor prescribed him medicine to prevent it in the future. He was stubborn and non-compliant. He refused. He came up with a million different (illogical) excuses as to why he doesn't need them. Both Kyle and I would plead with him every time we saw him to take his medicines and live a healthier lifestyle, but no good came from it.
When we got the phone call informing us that he had another stroke, we both had dread come across our faces, but neither of us were surprised. We knew this day would come, we just weren't sure about when it would be. We didn't expect it so soon.
I know Kyle and I have been tremendously blessed with consistent employment. I love that my husband is working in a profession that he loves, but sadly, it doesn't pay very well. Well below average. I worry about our future, especially now with all this going on. Kyle and I had plans to adopt. We were about halfway through the process. Before all this happened, we discussed it while we were in Washington D.C. We both felt that it wasn't the right time to adopt anymore with everything that was currently going on, then the same day, that night, we got the phone call about his Dad's stroke. It's like the Spirit was bracing us.
I tear up just thinking about it. Kyle and I are both so ready to be parents. We are ready to settle down and plant our roots, but unfortunately, in his profession you got to take the opportunities to move up the ladder whenever the chance appears. It just feels like everytime we start headed in that direction, something happens.
Whenever I feel like we have some sort of idea what God has planned for us, a wrench is thrown and we're on another path in the blink of an eye. I know we're destined to do great things. I know it. I just wonder when that day will come. I am working hard on my degree, so I can achieve the things I dream of, but until then, it's back to the grind. I will work part time, and do school full time (that's going to be quite the load!) and Kyle will continue to work full time and work to finish his masters
That's another worry. His master's. He's halfway through his MPA program, and he is not in Government. We are on a different path than the one when he started the program, and we're worried, but he is halfway through, and if he were to start another program, he would have to start all over, and we don't want to double down on the debt. Our new plan is for him (tentatively) to be an adjunct professor when he obtains his Master's and teach Government, and eventually work his way full time teaching at the college level. We're trying so hard to set ourselves up for our future, but things out of our control just keep happening. I know we're blessed. I have to constantly remind myself of that. I just don't like the inconsistency and not knowing what is ahead.
I want to be a mother. I want to obtain my degree. I want my husband to be able to achieve all of the things he is working so hard for. I want all of these things. I know we will achieve them, but the question is how or when?
I'm saddened that the adoption journey is put to a screeching hault. I cry when I think about it. All we can do is pray that the Lord will bless us with one of our own sooner rather than later, and keep moving forward, one step at a time.
