Lately, it seems I have started the last several blog posts with "I know it's been a while...". Well, it really has been a while, since the end of last year. With school, being a new Mom, and everything else going on in my life, it's hard to keep up, but here I am, nonetheless.
I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind the last month or so.
Mom judgement & judgement in general.
In just a few short months of being a new Mom, I have been criticized for some of the silliest things. Here's a few:
I don't take my baby outside often enough
My baby is outside too much (by the same people, mind you)
I'm a bigot with who I allow/don't allow to watch my child
I hold her too much
I don't hold her enough
I'd rather play video games than be a Mother
I'm being a religious Mormon zealot for not letting my daughter around cigarette smoke
The list goes on..
Initially, I let those things bug me. I mean, really bug me, to the point of tears. I just didn't understand why people would purposely go out of their way to think ill of something they really know nothing about. Kyle told me that not everyone thinks the best of others and tend to tear others down just to make themselves feel better. No matter how old I get, I will never understand that.
I have many many flaws. I'd fill up several blog posts on how many flaws and imperfections that I have. But one of my strengths is compassion. I always try to see how the other person is feeling, no matter the situation, before I make an assumption. Always. Especially the older I have gotten and the more I lived life. I, in my naive mind, assumed most people do the same thing, but it turns out, they don't.
Why must people judge others so harshly just because "that's not the way I do it"? I don't understand this. Why must others judge because they have a huge support system in their life, who want to be apart of their childrens lives? Just because they didn't have that, no one should? Why must others judge the way people parent, as long as the child is unharmed and thriving? Why can't we just live and let be?
Most of the people in my life and who I know are this way. They are kind, compassionate, loving, and more than willing to share their own experiences. I'm grateful for all of you who are so understanding and sympathetic towards others, no matter the situation.
We all are guilty of judging someone. I know I definietly am. I would be lying to you if I said I never have done it. I try to catch myself when I do, and ask myself, "If I were them..." or the best gotcha, "What would Christ do?".
Self reflection is important. In the last two years especially, I have understood why being prideful is truly a sin. It can cause so many downfalls. Like broken marriages, broken friendships/relationships, isolation, etc. When we are prideful, we miss out on oppurutunities to grow and serve others. I have seen that in people throughout my life, and I see the consequences unfolding, even though they do not. It causes me to check my own self, and become humble and meek.
So, what's the point here?
My point is, I don't understand why people just cant leave people be. It's ok to not agree. We are all different and have different ways of doing/handling things. That's a no brainer, but people lack understanding. Why is that? I'm not sure, to be honest with you. Maybe those people are consumed in their own hurt and feeling misunderstood so they do the same to others? I honestly don't know.
As a new Mom, I'm learning as I go. I'm going to school, studying something that for me, is difficult yet worth obtaining, and I'm a wife trying to maintain a marriage. It's alot, but I asked for all of it. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Try this with me, serve others where you see a need, even if it's just saying hello. Forgive someone who you haven't yet forgiven, or at least start on that path. Try to find middle ground with someone who you adamantly disagree with politically, or in general. Pray for someone who you don't want to pray for. By doing these things, it enhances our ability to understand and be sympathetic to others, which is what I think the world needs right now. I know I need to work on these things daily, that's for sure.
Back to the beginning of my post. All of those things that I was accused of/attacked for? It doesn't really bother me that much anymore. It does from time to time, and I get very angry, I'll be honest. I have been afriad to post about going on a date night, or playing a video game while Lucy is asleep because of the crap I got. But then, I stop myself. I remind myself that I am giving a few people's opinions way too much power over my own, and that needs to stop. I remind myself of who I am, the things that I do, and the good that I try to do, and it fades away. The more experience I recieve as a Mom, eventually, I'm sure those judgements won't even phase me, but until that day, I'm working on it.
Love you all.
~Katie B.
