I have been pondering this topic heavily the last few days. I believe everyone crosses over this subject several times in their lives. Some quickly move on, others are haunted by it for the rest of their lives. What do we do when someone we are close to & whom we love dearly hurts us beyond our control?
This is an age old question. The first thing that comes to my mind is forgiveness. Then I think, "But how?". Christ came on this earth, not only to bring about eternal life and give us the ability to live with our Heavenly Father again, but to also be our universal example on how to live our lives. But here is the secret, we will ALWAYS come up short. Always. That is the whole point. We have to strive and do everything in our limited power and ability to BE LIKE CHRIST. Once we do that, Christ will always take care of the rest. He will "pick up our slack". He will never fail us.
My first "mortal" minded thought was anger. To stay angry. I still have those thoughts. I go back and forth constantly. Struggling between my natural instinctive thoughts of anger and deeply hurt feelings, and my spiritual "Be Like Christ" thoughts that have been placed into my heart and soul throughout my life.
My Mom told me, that forgiveness is for the person that is forgiving and not the one being forgiven.
I sat and thought about that for a second. It makes sense, because it is a burden lifted from your worn out shoulders that can only carry so much.
I am only 21. But I feel like I have had to do a lot of self-evaluating, forgiving of others, and forgiving myself, especially the last 3 to 4 years. It's always the one's closest to you, that sometimes, you have the hardest time forgiving. Why is that? I'm not really sure. Maybe it is because you hold a standard of trust, or what have you, and when that is broken, it is life altering. It changes who you are permanently. Think about it, you go through a process of forgiveness between you and Christ. It causes you to re-evaluate things. It causes you to deeply think about who are you, who the person you are working on forgiving is, and how you choose to be effected by the circumstance. That is what life is all about. Growing up, changing into someone who you choose to be.
We may not have a choice in who hurts us or what struggles we endure, but we in fact choose how we learn and react from them.
I have to remind myself constantly of that. The Lord wants us to forgive those who wrong us, but I also believe we need to learn from those forgiving experiences. Meaning, don't put yourself in that position of vulnerability a second time, or third, or however long it takes to realize that. Never stop being kind, that is not what I am saying. But you have an obligation to protect yourself from hurtful feelings and wrongdoings to the best of your ability.
So back to the question, "What do you do when someone you love hurts you?" I think my answer is to turn to Christ, consistently. Ask him. Allow yourself time to heal. Allow him to be there with you along the way. That way when you are ready to forgive, you will be able to fully receive the blessings that forgiveness brings.
With Love,
~Katie B.
