Goodbye 2014

Hello everyone!

It has been way too long since I've posted anything. I've wanted to several times, but once I started typing, I felt that I had nothing to say. I don't want to just spout out words and hope someone will come across them. I want my post to have thoughtful, heartfelt meaning. I hope that my thoughts or experiences will help one person that may be going through the same thing. That is how I measure success. 

2015. I can't even believe it's here already. I know this is a cliche, but where did all the time go? 2014 was an interesting year. I remember this time last year, I was sitting down with Kyle, talking about how this year was the year for everything to come to fruition! Kyle was set to graduate, I had just obtained my Associates Degree, everything was at our finger tips.

Within that same month, I received a horrible phone call. It was January 29th, a cloudy, dreary day. It was my husbands birthday, and I was planning a small surprise party with our close friends. I was at the store, gathering balloons, streamers, soda, and so on. My sister Sarah called me saying, "Bumpa collapsed, that's all I know. He's on his way to the hospital." I was worried, but death didn't cross my mind. I stood there in the store, staring at space for at least a few minutes. It wasn't until someone asked me if I was alright, until I realized what I was doing. I continued on with my shopping. I got home, and my older sister Ali called me. Crying she asked, "Are you ok? I can't believe he's gone." Confused, I told her he wasn't gone, and that he just collapsed. "That doesn't mean he's dead, calm down." I said, a little frustrated by the confusion I was having. "He's not dead? Dad told me he had died! Let me call you back!" She hung up. Kyle and I were getting ready for school, and I informed him what was going on. "He's in the hospital, I'm sure he'll be fine" I said. My phone rang again. This time, it was my Dad. He broke the news. 

After all the phone tagging between my cousins, sisters, and parents, Kyle and I just sat in silence. Silent tears were shed.  Bumpa was a man I deeply loved. His loss is still with me, and will be until I see him again. He was one of my best friends. I miss my Grandfather deeply. 

With this tragic loss, we trudged through the semester. It was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. I was taking tough classes, as was Kyle. We had to return to Fort Worth (after the funeral) for even more family emergencies. It was fitting, almost poetic, that all these trials happened within the last semester we were to spend in Utah.

When Kyle's graduation day came, it was a long day coming. He was so sick, he had to be taken to the hospital. I don't know how he got through commencement, the ceremonies, our party that we threw, it was insane. Moving was awful. He was still very sick, I had a ton of things to do and move, and it was all on my shoulders. I'm very grateful for my sisters that stuck around and helped me move. I literally could not have done it without them.

The light begun to shine. Within a month of being back in Texas, Kyle landed a job. Not a career job, but a job with great benefits and one that can pay the bills. We are very blessed. We have a beautiful 3 bedroom house, and Kyle will start his MPA this year! I am continuing my education with BYU online in Web and Graphic Design. 

I don't know what this year has in store. To tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous what it does have in store for me. But I will do my best to be ready for it all. I always tell myself, 'Everything happens for a reason'. That gives me peace and comfort when I'm worried about choices I have made, or what the future holds. I know the Lord has great things in store for Kyle and I. As long as we allow him to guide the ship, we will never be lost. That is extremely comforting to me. Knowing that I will never be lost. I have a compass in my pocket that will always protect me. I just have to remember that it is there when I do feel lost. 

I hope you all have a great year this year. Even with losses, with pain, and sorrow, joy always follows. 

God bless & Happy New Years!

Katie B