It's been a while since I have updated the world on life, perspective, and general things going on. Writing (or technically typing) has always been cathartic for me, so I really need to do this more often.
I woke up at 2 a.m. this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. This isn't unusual for me when I have a lot on my mind, but unfortunately, the price comes heavy when you're a Mom of two toddlers that wait for no one. So I will definitely pay for this later.
I can't help but reflect on my life when big events happen. I tend to ponder on how I got here and why certain things are happening/have happened, for better or for worse. In this particular case, its for the better.
I just accepted what I like to call "a big girl job" and I am terrified. I remember when I took my Technical Writing class a few years ago and discovered the world and profession of Technical Writing. Most of my classmates absolutely hated it. They hated writing and all the structure that was required, but I fell madly in love. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy programming and creating new applications, revel in the feeling of ecstasy when my program compiles with no errors. But I also enjoy writing, which can be a rarity in the field of computer software. After I completed that class, I knew that was going to be the field I pursued.
Another advantage to this job is that it is remote. I am able to work from home, work asynchronously with my fellow co-workers (other than meetings that I have to virtually attend), but have flexible work hours so I can balance motherhood as well.
This all sound good and dandy, but in reality, I know it will be difficult. It will be a huge adjustment to balance motherhood, and making sure my children have everything they need, (not just physically, but emotionally) and not affect their lives in any drastic way. They are still my number 1 priority and always will be.
I'm worried I'll fail. I'm worried I won't be good enough, that I don't know enough. But I know I have to take this terrifying step into a world that I have yet to fully discover and master in order to succeed.
I couldn't help but tear up when the offer came in yesterday morning. This whole journey flashed before my eyes. Starting out the Pathway Program through my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) in order to pursue BYU-Idaho online, going every week, unsure if I had made the right decision. I had already gotten my associates, but I knew that I wasn't finished, but needed something flexible, because life was so unknown and unstable at that time. When I saw the degree choices, Software Engineering stood out to me, but also was incredibly intimidating. I knew nothing about coding or software programming. I was pretty well equipped with general computer knowledge and enjoyed technology, but in my mind, those are starkly different. Kyle encouraged me to pursue this degree, and I can't thank him enough for seeing something in me that I didn't know existed. I married a good one.
I think about the time I dropped my first coding class because I was incredibly overwhelmed with the classes I was taking. So I had decided to take the class on it's own the following semester, and that made all the difference.
I learned a lot about myself through this journey. I learned that I can do anything I set my mind to, but at a pace that I could succeed at. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it's true for anyone. The key to success is knowing how you learn. Knowing what works best for you, knowing your limits, your weaknesses and strengths. Some people can handle a heavy course load and just turn and burn. For this particular subject, that wasn't the case for me. I took the whole "slow and steady wins the race" option.
I reflect on the girl who married her love at the young age of 18, dreaming of the very future I am living. It has continually hit me this year that I am living the life I prayed for, the life Kyle and I constantly dreamed about when we were engaged and newly married. Life has been difficult until the last few years or so, living in what seemed to be constant chaos. Ironically, 2020 is when our life really slowed down and we were able to live and not just survive.
We endured a lot of obstacles in the first 8 years of our marriage, some by choice, and others by happenstance. But we held on. We held on to our dreams and just kept our nose down and continued to trudge on. Not easily, but we did it. It's far from over, there are still goals that are in the works, but right now, it sure is a nice view to look back and see how far we have come.
I don't know how this job is going to go. Anything could happen, but I know that I will include the Lord every minute of every day throughout this journey, because He has been a huge part of it already.
I want to tell the story of how this job came about:
I applied for this job a few weeks back, and heard from a staffing firm about a week or so after applying. A Technical Recruiter reached out to me, and asked to speak with me for an initial phone interview about the job. It's important to add, that I have already spoken to 3 or 4 other recruiters about various jobs, and if the employer wants you, they're (the recruiter) your best friend, if they don't, they ghost you. That's just how it is. So I didn't expect much from this phone call to be honest.
He calls me at 11:30am on a Thursday and he goes into his spiel. As he is talking, he also adds in tips to help my resume for potential technical writer jobs and telling me what staffers and hiring managers specifically look for, going above and beyond his duty. As the conversation continues, I am impressed with how much he is willing to help me, not just with this job, but in general. I thank him up and down for his kindness and professionalism. Towards the end of the conversation, he makes a comment that his daughter currently attends BYU-Idaho. We then talked about the university for a bit and how much he loves the graduates from there, and is never disappointed in any product coming from it.
I knew instantly that the Lord put him and this job in my life for a reason, and that His hand is ever so clearly present.
If anything I have learned throughout my journey to now, is to stay close to the Lord, work really hard, even if you don't think it is going anywhere. Also, marry someone that will push you to be your best self and stick it out through the really tough times, so when you reach high points, it's all the more sweeter. A sweetness you can bask in together.
I don't know what this journey will consist of, but I am excited for the ride. Stay tuned!
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