23 Things to do INSTEAD of getting married young? I'll pass.

In December 2013, a woman named Vanessa Elizabeth wrote a list of things to do instead of getting engaged at or before the age of 23. As thought provoking as this list may be, I have a slight problem with it. It is one of the most unintelligent, ignorant and self centered lists I have ever come across. Let's break this down. 

Here is the link to the original article. 

http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

A little background on me before I start. I've been married for 3 1/2 years now, and I'm not even 22. 

"1. Get a passport"

Get a passport? So if you get married BEFORE the age of 23, you are forbidden to purchase a passport? 

"2. Find your thing."

What if someone's thing is to find love, get married, and continue living their life with their spouse by their side?

"3. Make out with a stranger"

That's just nasty. I'd rather be with a man who I know loves me. One that will be there when I wake up every morning. Again and again. Who honestly wants to swap fluids with someone they don't even know or may never want to know? 

"4. Adopt a pet"

Already did. My husband and I named her Daisy. 

"5. Start a band."

Just not my "thing".

"6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too."

I've made plenty of cakes. Some for my hubby's birthday, others for Valentines Day. Guess what. I get to eat it too. 

"7. Get a tattoo. It's more permanent than marriage."

The marriage I believe in lasts for time and all eternity. I think that is a little more permanent than a tattoo. 

"8. Explore a new religion. "

I like the religion I'm in now, thanks.

"9. Start a small business."

Can I not do that with my husband? Do you have to be single to start a business? 

"10. Cut your hair."

I got my haircut last week, actually.

11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. 

Date two different people, and wait for it to blow up in your face? So, in other words, have the guys (or girls) find out that your dating another person without them knowing? Until it blows up in your face? That's called being a whore, and there are plenty of those around. So I'll pass.

"12. Build something with your hands."

Again, you can do this single or married. 

"13. Accomplish a Pinterest Project. "

I have accomplished a few, all while being married. It's a miracle!

"14. Join the Peach Corps."

What if that's not my "thing"?

"15. Disappoint your parents"

I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't think any self respecting person wants to do that. 

"16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again. "

Still don't get it.

17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. 

I'd prefer not too. And if one wanted too, they can do it married or single. I don't think Nutella is prejudice towards your relationship status. 

"18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public"

I think my hubby and I can do that together. Wouldn't want to look like a fool doing that all by myself. 

"19. Sign up for Crossfit"

I have gym membership. So i'm good. Besides, I know couples who do that together. 

"20. Hangout naked in front of a window."

Ew. No. Married or single, no thank you.

"21. Write your feelings down in a blog"

I already am. This one suits me just fine. 

"22. Be selfish."

Who wants to be known as selfish? I mean, seriously?

"23. Come with me to the Phillippines for Chinese New Year. "

No thanks. If you're going to just hang out naked in front of window, make out with random people, and Lord only knows what else, I prefer not.

Now, I know getting married young isn't for everyone and I don't expect it to be. But to make a list, thinking these things are better for people to do, then to choose to join lives with another is just ignorant. Let people make their own choices, whether it be to stay single, marry young or old or whatever else they choose to do with the life God has given them. Don't put those who choose to marry young down. I promise you, we're not missing out as much as society likes for us to think. Quite the opposite actually.

~Katie B. 

Let's talk about Dale Hansen

It's interesting that my home town (DFW, Texas) local newscaster Dale Hansen is trending. I saw it on my news feed, and immediatly I was intrigued. 

He ripped into the media and the NFL for silently ostracizing "openly gay" Micheal Sam. 

"...Michael Sam, the SEC defensive player of the year, and expected to be a 3rd to 5th round pick in the NFL draft tells the world he's gay." Stop right there Dale. Let's chat.

Why does he have to announce it to the world? Why? Why does he have open it up exclusively on an interview and make a huge scene about it? I mean, what do you expect these men to think? They are not allowed to be uncomfortable taking a shower with a man who is sexually attracted to other men? They are not allowed to be uncomfortable when they are smashing bodies together during practice? I mean, seriously. Is it your first reaction when having an interview to tell them your sexual orientation? No. I don't think so. What is the need for that? Is he announcing it as a warning? "Hey guys, watch out! I'm gay!" Or is he saying because he wants everyone to shut up and accept him. It is propaganda. Period. Does your sexual orientation define you that much to the point that you have to announce it via national television? I just don't understand. 

With that being said, Dale made a lot of very good points. "You beat a woman, and drag her down a flight of stairs pulling her hair out by the roots, you're the fourth guy taken in the NFL draft. You kill people while driving drunk, that guys welcome. Players caught in hotel rooms with illegal drugs and prostitutes we know they're welcome. Players accused of rape and payed the woman to go away. You lie to police trying to cover up a murder, we're comfortable with that. You love another man, well now you've gone to far." 

Very well said Dale, you definitely put the hypocrisy that is the NFL in their place. It gives people something to think about for sure. It gives me something to think about. Very true. I just don't understand, why your ways of life, regardless of what they are, need to be broadcasted to the world. Anything involving the media is propaganda, which ever way it is aimed, right or left, it is a form of propaganda. I'm not buying it. But his words spark a good debate. He makes excellent points, and for that, I applaud him. 

~Katie B.

Loss is a burden to bear.

The start of this semester was one that I will want to forget, but never will be able to. Driving back from Texas after winter break, Kyle and I had a long conversation about the things to look forward to within the semester and beyond. We talked about making this semester count and to do everything with no regrets. We talked about using the "Utah experience" to the fullest, taking advantage of places like Temple Square, attending a live session of General Conference, hike the beautiful mountains some more, and so on. We talked about where we wanted to be once that diploma was in hand. We talked about how we wanted to be closer to our families, because that is where we are happiest. We started new fitness goals, working out together, about four times a week (schedule permitting). We were not prepared for what the Lord decided to put in our paths. 

The first trial was Kyle's mother's health. She had had a bad stroke and we were worried sick, half way attempting to come down to make sure she was alright. We made tentative plans to come back for the semester if things took a bad turn. It was extremely stressful and worrisome. We had received a blessing from Kyle's Home Teaching companion and his home teachee within our ward, of comfort from the Lord. Shortly after that blessing, his Mom had gone to the hospital and was receiving proper treatment and was on a pathway to being healthier and recuperating from her stroke. 

The following week, on Kyle's 24th Birthday, my beloved Bumpa (My Grandfather) passed away unexpectedly. He had died of a heart attack while feeding his chickens in his chicken coop. It hit me like a ton of bricks on and off that day. Once I finished the phone calls back and forth between my sisters, cousins, parents, I just sat there. Kyle and I sat in silence for what felt like hours. I was on my way out to go to class, as was Kyle, but we lost all motivation to attend. Bumpa had been a HUGE part of my life, especially here in Utah. Every time he was up here, we would do things together at least once a week. He was one of my heroes. He was one of my best friends. We were there for each other while here in Utah, away from our families, our homes. Every time I think about him, I feel like I grieve for him all over again. It hurts to know he is not here with us, with  me, anymore. 

Loss is such a heavy burden. It is hard to cope with. It is so hard. It is so hard to deal with the loss of now two of the most important infulential people in my life. My Nana & Bumpa. I know Bumpa is happier where he is at now. He is with the love of his life. His eternal companion, his soul mate. 

This is where our faith comes into play. This is where the Lord tests us, he tests us through his plans for others. Through his plan for my Bumpa, his plan for him to come home, we as his loved ones are being tested to remember the Plan of Salvation. We need to remember all that we are taught and be faithful, and take comfort in those teachings of seeing our family again. I have to remind myself that he is happier where he is. I know that he loves us and misses us as well, but he is with my Nana now. He is with her, holding her hand, not leaving her side. He knows the truth now. He knows his faith and works in this life have come to fruition. His test is over. He passed the test. He is on the other side of what the whole purpose of being on this earth is for. 

I go in and out of depression. All the words are true, but sticking with me is another story. It is hard to accept all of this. It is so hard for me to accept that he is gone. The man that has taught me the fruitions of physical labor and education and where it can get you. Bumpa was a huge part of my life. He still is. He has taught me so many things. I cry for my children that they will not know him. But then I think to myself, they do know him. They are in heaven, as is my Nana & Bumpa. I believe he knows them well at this point. I believe he is telling them all about Kyle and I. About the kind of people we are. The kind of family he started and was the patriarch for. So at times when I think of that, it comforts me. 

Loss is such a heavy burden. But thankfully Christ shares our burdens. I hope the Lord will be with my family and I at this time of harship.

Thank you all

~Katie B. 

Marriage Equality. It's all Just A Game.

Marriage Equality

This term is already inaccurate from the start. A Marriage, as defined in the bible, is a union between one man and one woman. It is not defined as one man and one man, or the coming together of two women. Because of those major differences, they are not equal by any means. I mean, c'mon. That just doesn't make sense. So what are you fighting for? Are you fighting for God to recognize what you want to redefine as a marriage? Or the government. Just because the government deems it a marriage, doth not make it one. I wish the government would stay out of marriages to be completely honest with you. Marriage is an institution of God, not the government.  

Honestly, I know they will have the right to marry throughout the country here eventually. That doesn't mean I will quit standing up and fighting for God's definition of marriage, but I believe those who are fighting for "Marriage Equality" and those fighting for God's definition of marriage are fighting for two completely different things. 

Those who are fighting for Marriage Equality are fighting for the government, state and federal to recognize their union. They are seeking TEMPORAL approval. They are seeking a WORLDLY acceptance. They are seeking a TEMPORARY acceptance. Honestly, they can have the governments approval. They can have the tax breaks, they can have whatever else the "perks" are. 

Why is Marriage Equality a game?

What is the point of a protected class? Divine favor? Individual liberty? These things do not come from the government recognizing any particular lifestyle, gender or race as 'protected'. By protecting classes of people (or dare I say classifying them at all) we are separating groups of people and that at its finest is inequality. In order to achieve 'equality' of any sort we must recognize every person regardless of creed, race, gender or lifestyle as another human being. 

The idea of marriage equality is to stir up emotion and create a sort of chaos that always leads people to asking the government for help. The situation does not lend itself to the individual claiming more liberty. It instead increases the power of the government to dictate how people act, how society functions, and how we all survive. The basic premise is that people can not operate with-in society on their own. They need a 'leg up' from the government. This 'leg up' no matter how 'noble' a cause leads to a more centralized power and a socialistic construct; where the individual does not have the power to choose for themselves. They must instead go to their government for permission or 'acceptance'.

Now, that being said, human nature will never give or receive complete equality and complete acceptance. It's not possible.  We are a world full of sinners, not saints. We judge, we compare, we organize society and what we deem is acceptable or not. That is what God wants us to do. The idea of agency is all apart of His plan. We have to deem what is right and wrong. We can't just say to ourselves "Everybody can do whatever they want to do, I can't judge what is right and wrong" If we do this, what is the point of parenting, raising children? Don't parents have to tell their children what is right and wrong, based on their own judgement? 

 I am LDS, (Mormon) but does that mean I demand everyone to accept that my faith is true? No. You have that right to judge for yourselves whether you agree with the teachings or not. Just because you don't agree with my faith, doesn't mean you are discriminating against me, or denying me equality. 

If one was seeking true acceptance, they would pray. They would pray to the one that is sinless and ask if what they are doing is worthy of His acceptance, and NOT the government. 

Government is not God.

Government is not God and never will be. God loves all his children and cares for us individually. He knows our struggles, he knows our sins, he knows our weaknesses and can help us overcome them, whatever they may be. Seek equality from Him, seek acceptance from Him. We live for so much more than what is in this life. Do not fall to the games and schemes of this world, as tempting and confusingly right as it may be. Remember, the adversary has the mighty power of confusion and temptation. He has the power to twist words into making wrong sound like right.

We all have our agency to choose. You all have the right to choose who you love, what you do behind closed doors. I have no problem with that, nor do I have a right to have a problem with your choice of what you do in the privacy of your own life. It is when the meaning of an eternally ordained institution that I hold dear to my heart, is trying to be changed is when I get involved.  

God bless you all. 

~Katie B.

& Ghost Writer Kyle Borne. 

Welcome 2014!

I love the feeling of a fresh new year! For some, I'm sure 2013 was a hard year, and for others it could have been the best year for them in a long time. Regardless, it's over, it's time to start anew. 

Photo From Justhappyquotes.com

I really don't like it when people mock the New Years Resolutions people make every year. Why would you make fun of people wanting to make their lives better, regardless if they follow through with it or not? Haven't we all thought to ourselves things we should do to make this or that change to better our lives? I know I have. 

 Don't mock those want to make their lives better by wanting to change bad habits, behaviors, etc. It's an honorable thing to do in my opinion.

This year is filled with so much excitement for Kyle and I! Kyle graduates from UVU this semester. It has been long anticipated! Years of scraping by, moving from place to place, all as an undergrad will soon be over. I am very proud of him. He has worked hard for this degree, to be able to better provide for me, and our children to come. Everyday I am reminded that I am married to an amazing man, that loves me and will do ANYTHING for me. I can only hope that I can match the love he gives me on a daily basis. 

Kyle and I will celebrate 3 years of marriage tomorrow. <3 For some reason it feels like we have been married longer. I am so grateful I am reminded daily that I married my best friend. 

Kyle will get a salary job, we will start a family, and start the rest of our lives! I am excited for all that lies in the year of 2014! I hope you have a great year and make goals for yourself, whether it is to go somewhere, to be physically fit, to better your lives in any way, do it! You can do it! You can do anything you set your mind to. That is not just a cliche, it is truth. 

God bless!

~Katie B.

What do you do when someone you love hurts you?

I have been pondering this topic heavily the last few days. I believe everyone crosses over this subject several times in their lives. Some quickly move on, others are haunted by it for the rest of their lives. What do we do when someone we are close to & whom we love dearly hurts us beyond our control? 

This is an age old question. The first thing that comes to my mind is forgiveness. Then I think, "But how?". Christ came on this earth, not only to bring about eternal life and give us the ability to live with our Heavenly Father again, but to also be our universal example on how to live our lives. But here is the secret, we will ALWAYS come up short. Always. That is the whole point. We have to strive and do everything in our limited power and ability to BE LIKE CHRIST. Once we do that, Christ will always take care of the rest. He will "pick up our slack". He will never fail us. 

My first "mortal" minded thought was anger. To stay angry. I still have those thoughts. I go back and forth constantly. Struggling between my natural instinctive thoughts of anger and deeply hurt feelings, and my spiritual "Be Like Christ" thoughts that have been placed into my heart and soul throughout my life. 

My Mom told me, that forgiveness is for the person that is forgiving and not the one being forgiven. 

I sat and thought about that for a second. It makes sense, because it is a burden lifted from your worn out shoulders that can only carry so much. 

I am only 21. But I feel like I have had to do a lot of self-evaluating, forgiving of others, and forgiving myself, especially the last 3 to 4 years. It's always the one's closest to you, that sometimes, you have the hardest time forgiving. Why is that? I'm not really sure. Maybe it is because you hold a standard of trust, or what have you, and when that is broken, it is life altering. It changes who you are permanently. Think about it, you go through a process of forgiveness between you and Christ. It causes you to re-evaluate things. It causes you to deeply think about who are you, who the person you are working on forgiving is, and how you choose to be effected by the circumstance. That is what life is all about. Growing up, changing into someone who you choose to be. 

We may not have a choice in who hurts us or what struggles we endure, but we in fact choose how we learn and react from them. 

I have to remind myself constantly of that. The Lord wants us to forgive those who wrong us, but I also believe we need to learn from those forgiving experiences. Meaning, don't put yourself in that position of vulnerability a second time, or third, or however long it takes to realize that. Never stop being kind, that is not what I am saying. But you have an obligation to protect yourself from hurtful feelings and wrongdoings to the best of your ability. 

So back to the question, "What do you do when someone you love hurts you?" I think my answer is to turn to Christ, consistently. Ask him. Allow yourself time to heal. Allow him to be there with you along the way. That way when you are ready to forgive, you will be able to fully receive the blessings that forgiveness brings. 

With Love, 

~Katie B.  

Who Am I?

I feel like I learn something about myself after each trial, at the end of each semester, each religious experience, (attending church, serving others, going through trials, etc).

I feel like I have changed immensely these last two years. Every trial I have gone through, I KNOW has made me stronger, for my personal benefit, for my marriage, and for friends and family.

Kyle and I went to his academic advisement appointment last week. We were both very nervous because with us, it is always something, whether it is self inflicted or just completely out of the blue. We have been through some doosies let me tell you! His former advisor has been promoted to another position within the University, so he had a brand new advisor. So you can understand our worries!

We went in there nervous, and came out on cloud 9. She gave Kyle the green light to graduate at the end of Spring Semester 2014. We didn't say anything to each other at first, soaking in the information we just received. We went out to lunch afterwards and I had a few thoughts come into my mind:

When we came to Utah, my thoughts and feelings were "I just need to get away" mostly in regards to my family. I needed my space and needed to find my footing of who I was, who WE were as husband and wife, as a family. I came to realize that my family is what I missed the most while out here in the West. I love BYU, I love UVU, I love the historical value and beauty of Utah. The history of the saints, their struggles, their triumphs. It gives me a perspective of how I should live my life, how I should treat the luxuries of the Book of Mormon, Institute, Freedom of Religion, something the saints died for, with respect and not take them for granted.

I said, "Kyle, I feel like we have been through so much, all BEFORE you got your Bachelors degree. I feel like we have taken a path that will make us stronger, not only as future parents, but as children of God. I feel like we have grown and matured a lot. I'm not saying we were immature but there was plenty of room to grow. I've learned that I want my children to have what I had growing up. Close knit aunts and uncles, cousins on both sides. I want that so bad for our kids. I am willing to go to great lengths to make that happen. Family is #1 in our lives, and if we make that our first priority, the Lord will bless us with the things we have long fought for. A job, stability and a beautiful family."

Who am I?
I am a daughter of God. I am someone that is loyal, and a very hard worker. I am willing to do what it takes to get the job done, whatever the costs. I believe in being kind to others, going out of my way to help others in need, whether they want to receive it or not. I believe being "moderate" is a very bad way to be. I believe in standing up for what I believe in whether I am  liked or not. I believe in not being passive.

I KNOW my Redeemer lives, and His Gospel is alive and well on this earth. I KNOW marriage is divinely inspired by the Lord Himself, and I cherish it. I am a strong woman, a strong daughter of God. I KNOW all life on this earth is cherished and should be treated as such.

I look forward to a new chapter in my life. I look forward to Kyle graduating, and him moving on and providing for our family. I appreciate the people rooting for me AND against me in my journey because both helped me to keep going.

Don't allow yourself to get caught up in today's afflictions. I know I have been allowing myself to do that the last few days. I need to "shake it off" and move on. Stand out, stand for the ways of the Gospel. Stand for something, for righteousness.

“Our safety lies in the virtue of our lives. Our strength lies in our righteousness. God has made it clear that if we will not forsake Him, He will not forsake us.”

-Gordon B. Hinckley

~Katie B.